the most expensive light bulb in the world

This light bulb is costing more than fifty thousand pounds to replace.

About a year ago it popped. I replaced it and the new one popped too, taking downstairs' electricity with it. So I replaced it and rang The Electrician. After a couple of hours in the cellar and under the hall floorboards The Electrician pointed out that I had Damp... enough Damp to fuse all the lights and present a small element of Danger. The Electrician disconnected the offending light fitting and told me to get a plumber.

So a couple of weeks later The Plumber came and moved the washing machine to find so much Damp he couldn't get the machine back into its slot. He also found some dry rot, disconnected further electrical fittings and said that he had done all he could "in the circumstances"... So The Architect came and said "the best thing to do is pull it all down and start again". The Surveyor agreed. And so The Project has begun...

Comments

underneath waterloo station

Profound in so many ways...

sweet vauxhall

I'm too old, too wasp, too middle-class and just too busy to understand what motivates graffiti artists to risk life and limb in pursuit of their thing... but I often love their work and (yes, yes, I know it's illegal) it so often makes a dull place interesting. I used to pass this one at Vauxhall every day on my way to work and it's still as striking as the first day I saw it. Whoever created it I just want them to know that I really appreciate this free gift and I'm glad the London Transport Police haven't been able to get their bleach on it. Can't get Jamie Lidell's Multiply out of my head today. He deserves to be a big star.

heston blumenthal's black forest gateau

...takes two or three days to prepare. It involves using a dyson, several plastic bags, a cocktail shaker, paint rollers and trays, an aerosol spray, lots of banging things on counters and sweat. This homage to Seventies kitsch cooking takes so much effort to make that you would actually lose weight just making it. However, I think Heston is missing a trick here. All the layers in his gateau have a perfectly acceptable, ready made, authentically 1970s equivalent which means you could knock together a Blumenthaley-stylee-gateau in about ten minutes and save a load of money. So here is my alternative recipe: For the biscuit base - use two or four Jaffa Cakes (this saves you having to make the apricot compote) Place a bar of milk chocolate Aero on the top of the base Add a layer of chocolate Instant Whip Add some cherries (glace or tinned) Add a good thick slice of chocolate Swiss Roll which has been soaked in kirsch Add another Aero (optional) Add another layer of Instant Whip Add some

polkadots and moonbeams

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